Ava has a houseguest; or doggie hospitality



Sophie and Ava begging together

 Ava has a houseguest

This wasn’t the post I was planning for this week but circumstances have made me change my mind. This week Ava has a houseguest named Sophie. Sophie is my friend’s 9 lb Maltipoo. From the minute Sophie bounced into the house, they hit it off. Now keep in mind that Ava weighs three times the amount of Sophie, but with Sophie’s fur they look closer in size than they really are. And they both can run!! So the two dart through the house and rough house and then smell each other’s butts and they are happy as clams. Until two nights ago.

Sophie makes her mark

Sophie really likes me, and Ava knows that. It hadn’t been a problem. But the other night I went to bed and as usual, Ava was asleep at the foot of our bed. Suddenly Sophie came up. I brought her up onto the bed –she cannot quite jump that high – and as she got up, Ava woke up and sat up. Words cannot describe the look that descended on her face. She kind of stared down at Sophie with this look of despair.  A look of grief, but not just grief – a look that said “Ugh, I’ve lost their love.” I don’t know how else to describe it. Her little square head hung down in misery and she just sat there motionless staring at the intruder.

Well, what could I do – I took Sophie downstairs to Patty and told her she’d have to sleep there. But when I came up, Ava still looked so betrayed and sad. As if she was replaced. I cannot believe how a dog can have such facial expressions that tell it all.  So I told her I loved her and she was my only dog, and my favorite and that Sophie was there to play with her, etc etc. but she wouldn’t kiss me that night. I was really worried.

I told her I loved her best

The next morning to make matters worse, Patty was giving me a ride somewhere, and taking Sophie. Just before leaving the house she handed me the leash with Sophie on it, to hold for a moment. Ava always knows not only when we are getting ready to go out, but when she is invited along, and she kind of knew she wasn’t. And again she looked at me, with her expression that said “what???” That little tilt of her head when she is uncertain.  I had to put the leash down, I felt so guilty. How could I explain to her it meant nothing and I still loved her best. As we left and I got into the car with Sophie on my lap, I saw Ava in her usual spot in the window. I knew she can’t see will enough to see the details but I felt awful.  She was confused, and I had to leave her home alone to grapple with it.

Well we left and I was gone for about three hours. Patty and Sophie went somewhere else and when I returned with my husband (who Ava thinks is God- she thinks I’m her mommy and he is God.) She came running to great us in all her enthusiasm, all happy to see me and licked me for the first time in about a day. I was so relieved! I hugged her and scratched her head and neck a lot that afternoon. She finally got the message, and knows now that she is not losing her territory.

What I can learn from this

When I think about people who don’t communicate how they feel; some completely covering it up and some wearing  their feelings on their sleeves, but never talking about it for whatever their reasons, I cannot believe that a dog can communicate with her facial expressions in such detail. This brings up a big issue to me. Response and acknowledgement. If a person communicates and doesn’t get much of a response do they eventually stop communicating? I know it is not that simple, as we all handle the world differently, but is it a factor for some? And if so, do they just get the look Ava had that night in the bed, forever? When you see people who have that forlorn, or lost look most of the time, what do you think? Do you think that maybe no one responds to them. Maybe they gave up communicating a long time ago and have judged the world accordingly.

I guess I am getting philosophical because if you knew Ava like I know Ava, you would know that in her five and a half years of life she approaches everyone, every opportunity, every encounter with innocent, joyful enthusiasm. The expectation that they are there just for her. The delight that she is the center of the world. Even when we give her the “Fooey” (our sound for stop it or no) she runs away or stops, still in the joy of the moment. She knows we are the boss, but she never felt unloved, or ignored. Her needs have NEVER not been met. I have made sure of that. And that night she had a look on her face like you see in those tv commercials of the shelter dogs that are calling you to come and adopt them. It broke my heart that she could feel like that, even for a short time.  

I did explain to her that Sophie was there to play with her. And that I would never love another dog more than I love her. The next day she seemed to get it.

Now she is Ava again. With her silly bug eyed smile and not just her tail wagging but her entire butt!

My Podcast About this Blog

To add a little life to my blog, I've recorded a podcast that says a few things that are hard to put in writing. The purpose behind Ava's blog, my intention for the blog and a little bit of me (Ava's mom) coming through. I will do other podcasts down the road, but not as regularly as my posts. So please listen, and look forward to this weeks blog post - "Ava lets us know she is mad at us"

<object id="yodioPlayer" height="480" width="360" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://www.yodio.com/flash/multiplayer.swf%22/%3E%3Cparam name="wmode" value="transparent"/><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"/><param name="salign" value="TL"/><param name="flashvars" value="assetID=50u4R7MC1a5ZWEyht4LSJF&playerStyle=8&autoPlay=0&skinId=0"/><param name="quality" value="high"/><embed height="480" width="360" flashvars="assetID=50u4R7MC1a5ZWEyht4LSJF&playerStyle=8&autoPlay=0&skinId=0" allowFullScreen="true" wmode="transparent" quality="high" bgcolor="#ffffff" name="yodioPlayer" id="yodioPlayer" salign="TL" src="http://www.yodio.com/flash/multiplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object>

Ava Says I Love You



Ava poses for me on the couch

Ava really said I love you.



Did any of you see that video on youtube of the dog saying I love you. Its something else. The dog really says it. its not perfectly clear but you can't mistake it.

Well I saw that video and figured, if that dog can do it so can Ava. So we were sitting in the backyard and she was sitting and looking at us. I said "I love you" to her. And I said it again. And again.She made a few rumbles. She barked. I said it again. and again. Finally she barked and made a talking sound and then she did it "I love you". It sounded more like "ar raaaaa yuuuu" but it was unmistakeable she was saying it. The emphasis, the rhythm, the syllables. Syllables are hard for a dog since they can't really say consonants. Have you noticed that. Of course except for "rrrr" But the syllables were there. My husband and I were amazed. She did it three or four times and then stopped. I think it was very hard for her. She got tired.

They didn't believe me
My kids didn't believe me. But one night my daughter was there and we had friends over - yes I have witnesses - and she did it again. Not as loud or clear this time, but still, my daughter was stunned. You cannot negate that she was trying to get that sound out of her mouth.

What Next?
This really got me thinking. There are a few things that went on here. First of all somehow she knew we wanted her to say it. We talk to Ava all the time, but she doesn't do this. She somehow understood at that moment (it doesn't happen often) that we were saying something to her, and intended for her to say it back. Or, we used such a strong intention that she suddenly just wanted to do it. Either way, it really shows how much she understands and is in tune with us. She took a bit of time where she was obviously listening and internally processing it in her own way. Each time, she barked right before she said it like you or I might clear our throat just before using our voice in a strenuous way. She had to prepare herself to do this, it didn't come easy. But she was very connected to us. She thinks she is like us. I don't think she realizes she is a dog and not a person. In other words, I think she thinks she is one of us.

The question is: did this amazing relationship between dog and human evolve, or was it always like this? It seems as though human and dog have always had a comraderie, but is that bond getting closer? And if it is where is it going? What is next. Will dogs talk? If you believe in evolution you see that things might have evolved due to need, or desire. They don't have the physical characteristics necessary for speech, but can that develop over time? And if someone were to devote their life to working with a dog - how far could the dog's ability really go?



Is Speech Necessary?
This brings up another philosophical issue. Is speech necessary - or even more radically - is it sometimes an obstacle? Think of all the problems we have in this world due to words spoken and misinterpreted, or just disagreed with! Ideas and concepts are very interesting things, but are we are losing something more precious, ie spiritual connection, by using so many words. Ava doesn't normally come over and say "I love you." But when she sits next to me and cuddles up to me I really feel her love for me. When is the last time someone just sat next to you and you felt the love they have for you (not counting being in a new relationship.)  My children tell me they love me, but more than not, sitting next to me they are talking about something in their life, what they want, or texting their friends. What I am saying is that words get ideas and thoughts across, but without them we have to communicate on a spiritual level, which is definitely higher. There are certainly things that must be said with words - like "don't forget to get milk when you go out", or "there is a piece of toilet paper sticking out of the back of your pants," but think for a moment about all the uneccessary words we use that would be better not said, and instead a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek or a squeeze of the hand would communicate something really important.

I guess what I am saying is let's learn from our dogs!!! They don't seem to mind learning from us!

---



What does Ava think when we throw out garbage?

Is Ava Thinking



Many people doubt or wonder if dogs have conscious thought. But I don't know how you can think they may not when they do things so in evidence of it. For example, Ava gets crazy when people come in. She is so excited and wants to play with them - she thinks they are there for the sole purpose of playing with her and she jumps and circles and runs and jumps all excited. Its the one thing we never trained out of her - we tried, but any harder training just seemed like it would break her spirit and that was not what we wanted to do.

Anyway, she does this and then suddenly she leaves. A few moments later she comes back to that person with a toy of hers. Now that had to be premeditated. She does it over and over. It is not just coincidence that she leaves the room and finds something - and even if she does, she is then remembering that the person is in the other room, and she will bring the toy to them. Even that would take conscious thought. But she plans it.  Now I know the routine.


So for those of you who may still doubt, I will put this all as an assumption, but it do believe it is the way it goes.

Imagine You're a Dog...

Some of you never feed your dog scraps, but I do. After all, she likes it. Chicken is one of the couple hundred something words she understands and her favorite food. Imagine you are a dog. And you live for chicken. I am in the kitchen cutting up some leftover chicken for say.... a chicken salad. I cut a piece and there is AVA. Because she can be in any part of the house, no matter how far away and know I am cutting chicken. It is not the sound of the refrigerator, because she doesn't come if I take out fruit, or salad, or milk. But take out a bit of cheese or chicken and from the other end of the house and within 4 seconds, you hear her dog tags rattle as she stretches and shakes herself, as if she has been woken out of a deep sleep to come to dinner. She knows there is chicken and there she is.

But back to imagining you are a dog. You are on the floor with your "I like chicken" look on your face. I slice some chicken and put it in the salad and then give you a piece and every now and then through the fatty part or bones in the garbage.Any you're watching, perceiving, OK.. smelling all of this and thinking in your doggie head ... "Some for her, some for me and some for the box that pulls out of nowhere. Hey!! bring that box back here, that was good chicken. I want more." And then my husband takes the garbage out and she follows the smell and looks at me and I see her thoughts. "Hey where you going with all that great food! Why, why can't we keep it."


I have to say, for any of you who are currently training a dog,  Ava is one of the sweetest dispositioned dogs. Boston Terriers do have that character, but in addition, we have been very kind to her. We treat her with consideration and she seems so happy with her lot in life. And even though we know she would love to get into that huge garbage bag and go crazy, she doesn't. One reason is the trainer we had when she was a puppy, and the other the reason is because I give her scraps, or white meat chicken. I respect her needs and desires when possible. As a result, she is very happy in our home and our life.

54ADMPKX5M9D

Welcome and enjoy my first dog anecdote.



Ava as a puppy, listening to me.



Ava is the first dog I’ve ever had. She is a 27 lb Chocolate Boston Terrier who loves everyone. Not having had a dog before, I had no idea what was to come. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a Boston Terrier who would crawl into my heart, almost as deeply as my children.

Dog Thoughts
This blog is to record and share the incredible secret relationships of dog and human. The “conversations “ that actually go on both ways, and how even though I can’t pick up conversational Spanish, French or Hungarian, I quickly learned “dog”. Some of it will be stories of the five years she has been in our lives. A lot will be about what I believe she knows, what she tells me, asks for, and thinks about the life of humans. Then, there will be some posts by other humans who also know and love Ava. But I am not on a quest to prove I have the best dog, so I invite other dog families of all breeds, not just Boston Terriers, to tell their canine tidbits.

 I am hoping for a delightful, happy, humorous, heartwarming blog that will immortalize the dogs we discuss, inspire others to become doggie parents, and teach us some life lessons that we can only learn from those who are supposed to be less intelligent than us.

I want to start with an anecdote that I often share when talking about my Ava. The way we trained Ava was with a treat. She would go outside and when she came back we would give her a treat for doing the right thing outside. This evolved into me giving her a treat every time she went outdoors. OK, I’m a mush. Sometimes someone else lets her in and forgets to give her a doggie treat. Well, she knows, mommie is a mush, and comes to wherever I am in the house and talks. She goes kind of mmmrrrrmmm and moves her mouth around (which in Boston Terriersh, a dialect of Dogsh means food, or treat (There is only one word for dog food, and dog treat, since they do have a limited vocabulary.) And of course I get up, stop whatever I’m doing and go give her a treat. Oh come on – you do it too! Well this one evening I was doing something and my son let her in. Moments later she was by my side saying rrrrrrmmm rrrrmmm (translation - I want my treat). So I went downstairs toward the pantry and said to Jason “you forgot to give her a treat” and he said “I gave her a treat.”

Yes, I had been tricked by a dog. Clever. When did she figure that one out? I remember the first time my daughter, at the time a tiny toddler fooled me like that, but this is Boston Terrier, a dog, a canine. I burst out laughing and fell a little more in love with her.

So I hope you have enjoyed the introduction to the Conversation with my dog blog! Our sidebar has directions on how to subscribe, which will bring our postings to your heart, through your email. Your also have the option to bookmark our page for easy retrieval. The comment button is below and we would love to hear your opinion and your dog conversations. I will relay them to Ava.

We are planning a blog entry about once a week, so please look for our next entry which will talk about what Ava must be thinking when we prepare food. Until that time, enjoy this link to videos about various breeds, this one being of course Boston Terriers.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3dWns5n21s

I encourage you to leave comments. I'll reply to all questions within a week, and errors in the posts will be acknowledged in the comment area. Feel free to disagree with my points if there is need for disagreement, but keep in mind that all off-topic comments, disparaging comments, comments with more than one link, and comments that include profanity will be deleted.

Conversation with my dog

Ava is my 5 year old chocolate Boston Terrier.